Just Say Hi (From a Distance): How to Greet Unknown Dogs Respectfully

We get it. Dogs are adorable. That happy tail wag, those big eyes, the irresistible ears — it’s hard not to want to say hello. But just like humans, dogs are individuals, and not every pup is ready to jump into a new friendship.

At Free to Be Dog, we believe every dog deserves respect, space, and freedom to feel safe. That starts with how people say hello.

So let’s talk about how to greet unknown dogs the right way — because a little knowledge can go a long way toward better human-dog harmony.

Rule #1: Ask First. Always.

Before you even think about reaching for a head scratch, ask the dog’s human if it’s okay to greet them. If they say no, respect that answer — no guilt trips, no “but I’m good with dogs,” no baby talk Hail Marys. Just move along. That dog is telling you (through their human) what they need.

No human around?

That’s a hard no. Never approach a loose or unattended dog. You don’t know their story, and they don’t know yours.

Rule #2: Keep Your Hands to Yourself

This one’s big: Do not stick your hand out for the dog to sniff.We know — you’ve probably heard this is polite dog etiquette. But here’s the truth:

Dogs can sniff out buried bombs in war zones. They do not need your hand in their face to know what you had for lunch, where you’ve been, and whether or not you have a cat at home.

So skip the hand extension. It’s not calming — it’s confrontational. Instead, stand calmly at a slight angle (not head-on), and let the dog come to you if they want to.

Rule #3: Watch Their Body Language, Not Just the Tail

A wagging tail doesn't always mean a happy dog. Watch for:

• Loose body, relaxed face = comfortable

• Tense body, tucked tail, ears back, lip licking = nervous

• Stiff posture, intense stare, growling = back off, now

If the dog approaches and seems curious, great! But if they hang back or look uncomfortable, don’t push it. Dogs should always have the choice to engage — or not.

Rule #4: Pet with Permission and Mindfulness

If you’ve been invited to greet the dog (by both the human and the pup), go slow. Aim for the shoulders or chest, not the top of the head. Keep your touch gentle and short. Then pause. See how the dog reacts. If they move closer, that’s your green light. If they lean away or freeze up, that’s a “no thanks.”

Why It Matters

Respectful greetings aren’t just about avoiding bites (though that’s a good reason too). They’re about showing dogs the same dignity we’d show any other living being. Not every dog wants to be a social butterfly. Some are shy. Some are healing. Some just want to sniff the wind and be left alone.

When we honor their boundaries, we help them feel safe in a world that often expects them to perform on cue. And a safe dog is a confident, happy, free-to-be kind of dog.

So What Should You Do Instead?

1. Admire from a distance. Smile at the dog, talk to their person.

2. Ask permission. Always.

3. Let the dog choose. No reaching. No hovering.

4. Respect their no. It’s nothing personal.
   

Dogs aren’t robots. They’re not stuffed animals. They’re complex, sensitive beings with a sense of smell that blows our minds and a need for choice that mirrors our own.

So next time you meet a new dog, remember:

They smelled you before you even noticed them. They don’t need your hand — they need your respect.

Let’s make the world a safer, happier place for dogs, one greeting at a time.

- Tiff Talks Dogs @ Free to Be Dog